Chapter Text
“big sis, where is this place?”, Naruto asks a little nervous as he stands next to Mito in a big cavernous room under the Uzumaki tower, in the center of the Uzumaki compound.
Which stood proud in the middle of the hottest real state area in Konoha, that used to be where all the upper class civilians used to live before Mito had come around and kicked them out.
Let’s go back a day.
After showing legal proof that everybody living there was squatting on her land, Hiruzen summoned a veritable force of shinobi and gave everybody the boot, relocating the newly made homeless to the outskirts of the village.
After that, Mito sealed all the buildings into scrolls.
Yes, one by one, every single building illegally built on her land got sealed inside a storage scroll and sold back to the original owners.
“it’s restitution for illegal occupation of the Uzumaki lands”, she said as the civilians protested (and Hiruzen laughed his ass off).
Any who opposed was met with the kind of ass whooping a criminal would suffer.
After the terrain was vacant and the civilians booted out of the land, Mito bit her thumbs and did a fast sequence of hand seals.
She smacked her hands on the ground, pumping chakra into a huge seal that spread from a spiral in the middle of the plot all the way tough the borders of the Uzumaki lands and in a puff of smoke, the whole place was walled, reforested and in the middle stoop the Uzumaki tower.
Now, back to today.
“I still can’t believe this place existed here all this time”, Sakura says, walking closer to Haku and Touka, “how did no one ever found it?”.
“that’s the Uzumaki brand of f*ckery to you”, Touka says holding a torch, the whole place was still in the process of getting the water and power sorted out, “with enough seals and skill, in theory you could hide an entire country in plain sight and no one would be the wiser”.
“no wonder it took three of the five great hidden villages and a bunch of small ones banding together to wipe them out”, Haku says musing, reminiscing of the stories Zabuza told her.
“to be perfectly fair, only the Uzumaki of Uzushio were wiped out”, Mito says, searching going through some paper tags, “he clan had split a century or so before the warring states period, most of it had sailed east to get as far away from shinobi f*ckery as they could. It was only twenty or so years after the founding of hidden village’s system that our eastern cousins ceased contact with us out of fear”.
“so, there’s still Uzumakis left around the world”, Sakura says with a raised eyebrow, “and fear of what?”.
“of being whipped out”, Mito answers, after pulling a paper tag from the stack in her hands.
“what?”, Naruto asks.
“long story short, one of the daughters of the head of the eastern clan, who was a priestess had a prophetic dreams of sorts. For four nights she dreamed of our sigil, the red spiral, getting destroyed”, Mito explains, while putting some chakra into the tag, “on the first night, it was struck by lightning, on the second swallowed by sand, on the third, crushed by rocks and on the fourth it was torn by violent waters”.
The group feels a shill running down their spines as Mito runs her fingers through the walls.
“the head of the eastern clan at the time was a very spiritualized man and rightfully interpreted those dreams as an omen of the tragedy to come. So he got in contact with the head of Uzushio’s clan and told him of his daughter’s prophetic dreams”, she places the tag on the wall.
“what happened next?”, Naruto asks, feeling a pit forming at the bottom of his stomach.
“he warned us and when the head of the clan at the time dismissed him, he asked, no, begged for all info about the eastern clan to be erased from written record”, Mito says, with a sad tone, “last thing I heard about them, they traveled even further into the east and built a village, after that, they vanished”.
Mito lets out a sad sigh.
“well, the prophecy came to pass and Uzushio fell”, Mito says, whipping a lone tear from her eye, “I can just hope they are safe”.
And they are, safe and thriving, as it turns out getting away from the shinobi f*ckery was a great idea, after all the only way to win the sh*tty game called being a ninja is by not playing it.
“I’m sorry”, Naruto says, hugging Mito.
“don’t worry, squirt, we have each other and I’m sure there’s more of us around”, Mito says, hugging Naruto back, “now I didn’t brought you guys here to tell you a depressing story”.
She does a few hand seals and slaps the seal tag on the wall, suddenly the completely cavernous room fills with light coming from crystal balls held by chains hanging from the ceiling.
“this will give us three hours of light and also will power the privacy seals”, Mito says, as she watches the youngling s look around in awe at the walls where shelves upon shelves filled with scrolls reached the ceiling from the floor.
“that’s so cool!!”, Naruto says, looking around, “are those all jutsus?!”.
“that and many more”, Mito says, walking to one of the shelves and pulling a scroll, “now, come here, I think I know a jutsu you might be able to do”.
She brings the scroll to a desk and coaches a bouncing Naruto to get closer as she unrolls it.
“wait, does it have anything to do with my magic healing hair?”, Naruto asks, as he sees the word hair in the scroll Mito took.
“magic what now?”, Sakura asks, she knows Naruto’s bodily tissues (and fluids, don’t forget the fluids) are one hell of a lucky charm, but a healing charm? That was the first time she was hearing about it.
“isn’t that a fairy tail?”, Haku says, with a raised eyebrow, she had read that story before.
“or so we tough, until I wasn’t”, Touka says, “Naruto, do the thing!”.
One quick demonstration later, Sakura was questioning if this is real life of if it is a fantasy and Haku was wrapped around Naruto like a snake.
Apparently, the healing light that came out of his hair was a special kind of warmth that Haku really enjoyed.
“as matter of fact”, Mito says, slapping a paralyzing seal on Haku to peel her off Naruto, “it does have to do with your magic healing hair. I just remembered that a long while ago, Tobirama, while drunk off his ass, had theorized that the healing magic of the sun princess was an application of Ying-Yang release”.
She further unrolls the scroll.
“the mad lad even wrote a whole thesis about it”, showing illustrations of a hand seal sequence, “he tough that maybe with the correct hand seals taking the place of the incantation, it could be harnessed and used as a powerful kekkei genkai healing jutsu,. Granted, he pulled it out of his ass but it’s worth a shot”.
“considering he pulled shadow clones out of his ass, I wouldn’t doubt it could work”, Touka adds, knowing her cousin was the kind of genius who tough on an outcome first and then on how to achieve it later.
“now, Naruto, I want you to try and remember how does it feel when your hair glows up while you do the incantation, but this time, while doing this hand seals”, Mito says.
“sure, let me see it”, Naruto says, he takes a look at the seals in the scroll.
It took a few dry firing to get the feeling of the hand seals, but after he got the hand of it, he does the sequence of six signs while applying chakra and thinking of the outcome.
It works and his hair glows, faintly as his veins also gain a golden shine.
“wow, that’s amazing”, Sakura says, mesmerized by her teammate shinning.
“dear, how do you feel?”, Haku asks, drinking in the warmth Naruto was radiating.
“it feels… amazing”, Naruto answers, enjoying the warm sensation running through his veins.
“interesting”, Mito says, looking at the golden veins spread all over Naruto’s body.
In her frenzied curiosity, she pulls a kunai and stabs herself in the back of her hand much to the horror of the other three women.
“quick, come here!”, she says extending her wounded hand to Naruto.
She grabs him and the golden shine spreads from him to her.
The wound on her hand closes, not leaving any scar behind at the same time, Naruto stops glowing.
“holy sh*t!”, Touka says, with her eyes wide, “we need t do more tests, but I can already say…”.
“Tsuna would kill to have such healing technique!”, Mito says, turning back to the scroll, “now, Tobirama also theorized that maybe, just maybe, the Ying-Yang release from the healing hair could be harness to perform another jutsu”.
“oh, oh! I want to try it!”, Naruto says, bouncing on his feet.
“here”, Mito shows his the section of the scroll containing the theorized jutsu, “the creation of all things jutsu”.
At that, on Naruto’s mindscape, the Nine-tails stir awake as Hagoromom himself also has his attention turned to the blond.
The creation of all things jutsu, the epitome of ninjutsu, shadowed only by the truth seeking orbs.
A jutsu that allows for the creation of anything the caster imagines.
A technique so rare that besides the sage himself, only one person can use it, albeit with a lot of difficulty.
Somewhere in a casino, Shizune sneezes as her master punts a drunk ass who tried to cup a few off her boobs across town.
“you have to do this hand signs while thinking of something”, Mito says, her inner made scientist giggling inside her head, “think of something simple”.
Naruto nods, once again, after a round of dry weaving to get the feel of the sings he takes a deep breath and does the sequence.
“Ying-Yang release: creation of all things jutsu!”, he exclaims at the end of the sequence.
Instantly, all the chakra pathways on his body starts glowing a bright golden light and from head to toe, the golden chakra flows to his belly, shining through his clothes as I moves up to chest, splits in two and makes its way to his arms.
The flow of energy crawls from his shoulders to his elbows, to his wrists and to his hands, exiting through the chakra points on his palms and rejoining together as a sphere of light, floating above his hands.
It contorts and twists, going from a sphere to cylinder as the light dims and the object solidifies revealing…
“a cup of instant ramen?!”, Sakura screeches, “you quite literally used a godlike jutsu to make ramen?!”.
“hey, I’m hungry and that’s all I could think about!”, Naruto talks back, holding the cup op teriyaki chicken ramen he made out of thin air.
Unbothered by the outburst, Mito unseals a small stove, a kettle full of water and some chopsticks.
She snaps the ramen cup from Naruto’s hands, cooks and eats it.
“f*ck the hell yeah, that a resounding success!”, Mito exclaims, after drinking the broth.
“hey, that was mine!”, Naruto exclaims when all of a sudden his vision gets blurry and he falls on his ass.
“Naruto!!”, the three four woman exclaim, jumping to aid the blond, except Haku, she was still paralyzed by the seal Mito slapped on her.
“I’m fine I just got dizzy”, Naruto says, shaking his head to shake off the dizziness.
“your chakra reserves don’t show much depletion, your body probably it’s just not used to performing the jutsu”, Mito says examining him, “I think we should stop testing here for now”.
“can we go get some Ramen, I’m starving!”, Naruto says getting back to his feet.
“seriously, sometimes I think you have another stomach where your brain should be”, Sakura says, relieved that Naruto was fine, “and I guess this little thing we just did it’s a secret right?”.
“you can bet you tight pink haired ass that it is”, Touka says.
